Mein Tagebuch

The foolery of TV seems to have no end. Tiger Wong Snatches the Bride has met the peak so far as I can see. The whole story is nothing but a stupid farce, in which the actors played exaggeratedly and faked fun, not to mention structure or tension. But the most weird thing is that it is still enjoying a high rating. What the heck!

My contemporaries and I have almost abandoned TV series. We have grown despairing after a long-term expectation. We have always been talking about the elaboration of the good old series and today’s coarse ones. So the moment I found out that it was rebroadcasting the classical Pilgrimage to the West(HK version) this evening, my little face sparkled. It was one of our fancy childhood memories. I remenbered I was in grade 6 during the premiere of the series. Good child as I was, I was determined to watch it in spite of the heavy school burden. So this evening I watched the screen in high spirits, ready to review my sweet play, only to find that it was just another foolish farce. What the heck!

Eventually, I am illuminated: we love the former teleplays not because of their unique superiority, but because of our simplicity. We have been observing the world through glasses. TV has always been a trivial entertainment for common people. When we don’t crave TV any more, it implys that we are desiring more. Our expectation runs too wild.

So actually, we were the ones who are abandoned by TV.

 

This year is destined to be treasured. In these two days I was filled with the thought that I am already on the right track!

What can be called a right track? It, as far as I am concerned, follows these criteria: You have to figure out what kind of person you really are; You are doing something that you are really fond of now; and you have a clear picture about what kind of future you would like to own. And luckily now I come up to the standard:-)

First of all, I am now trying to reverse who I used to be and living my own life. I admit that I have been deeply affected by my mother since my childhood. Though a lot of the heritages are merits, but most of them are against my nature, I reckon. I am not intended to retrace my mother's track, therefore I must seek my own one. I am strongly confident that under the help of my bear I can fulfill it soonest.

Furthermore, I really enjoy my life now. Some guys tend to concern that I feel lonely when I am so retrieved in my dorm. But the worries are redundant. I adore such a life. Every single minute is at my disposal, and the point is that I won't lavish this opportunity. Now I focus on the improvement of my English and German proficiency, and happily I am making substaintial process every day. I don't feel bored, as language is my life.

Finally, I have drafted my future career: as a translator/interpreter, an assistant or a secretary. In a word, I just want to be an ordinary staff who crave no promotion. A certain people will lament or laugh at me or disdain me, for I choose some chicken boring job as my career. But I won't care a bit. I lead my own life. As long as I feel happy, it's enough. Assisting occupations are my ideal ones, I know it, I just know it. Even if you are a banker and earn 100,000,000 a year, you won't feel truely happy unless you really have passion for it. What's the meaning of life anyway? I never push myself into something that I hate, to some extent, though.

How dreadful it is that almost every news is reporting the global finance crisis! Hey, man, how big actually the thing is?! Some guys lose money and recession is on the way, that's it. After all it's not the end of the day. Please stop complaining and start counting our blessings--- just think about the poverty-stricken areas in Africa. What they concern is that they have no food, no clean water, no shelter and maybe no tomorrow-- they live in desperation. You should feel ashamed, if you stay at your cozy house, moaning and groaning about your minibond at hand. What a big deal?!

Since childhood i have been thingking about my future job, and consistently I will consider language as my destination.

After all, language is my skill, and probably my sole skill. I feature in language learning, for the reason that I possess a distinguished sense for that: I am capable of converting my vision, hearing and sense of touch into memory; I am sensitive to any linguistic mistake, pronunciation above all. In addition I have an inborn imitation aptitude, no matter for singing or for language learning.

However, God is fair. Besides language I can be reminded of nothing else as my strength. I did bad in maths and  hand-work; I have trouble thinking logically or space-wise. I am unwilling to make changes and reluctant to socialize.

In that case, I have no choice but commiting myself to languages~ha~

If that I was scolded by an administrative clerk reveals the bureaucracy in SISU, then what about being humiliated by an old, ugly and poisonous librarian?

First of all I have to clarify that the librarian here is not that in a strict sense. Librarian abroad, Frau Ma spoke to us once, is a demanding job, which may require a master or doctor degree. But "librarian" in China equals to some aged or retired or useless aunties. That's the truth.

Today when I was searching books through shelves, a loud, harsh and annoying noise broke the silence. It turned out that a "librarian" is organizing, or rather throwing books into the shelves. Obviously she was venting her anger or dissatisfaction. Then and there I thought loudly, how badly qualified the librarian was! But soon I ignored it. But shortly the feverish aunty charged at me, and dressed me down for disordering her books. My anger rose immediately, because I did nothing wrong. Every time when I finished a book, I will always stick it back into where it belongs. And I will even arrange some books which are misplaced by others. But I suppressed my fire, explained my innocence to her with a smile. She said she would check it out. And I let her. Of course she found no faults on the shelves, but she was still able to continue to humiliate me! Unreasonable as she was, she was still able to abuse and insult me loudly! What an eloquent Librarian! Reminded of instruction from Dale Carnegie, I tried my best to think positive, and apologized patiently with a smile:" I am sorry, aunty..." Hardly had I finished my words she began to attack me again even more furious:" I am not an aunty! How dare you call me an aunty! Do you really think that an aunty can fulfill such a job?! By no means! And I am not your relative! How dare you call me your aunty?! At school you should address me a teacher!....."

I was so infuriated, but meanwhile amused by what she said. Ha, evidently she is an arrogant aged woman, but inward vulnerable and self-contemptuous. She looks down upon other cleaning aunties, and feels irritated when she is equated with them. But if you force me to call her a teacher, I would rather die, please. Her face is distorted by long years of complaints and fault-finding. Her every motion has betrayed her, telling everyone that she is nothing but a bitch... Oh,no, you have to be young to be a bitch, so she is only an old bitch at most, or an old, barking bitch. A teacher? Don't try to humiliate yourself please, aunty.

I was reminded of a similar phenomenon in China nowadays. On TV-shows we can always hear that an increasing number of people are calling themselves "Teachers". Aged singers, emcees, stock brokers, political leaders.... So disgusting! "Teachers" are now flying everywhere. But teachers are used to be compared with a candle, symbolizing a holy occupation. But today this concept is so abused that even an aged bitch requires to be called a "teacher"! Shame on you!